Three Apples + Two Oranges = Infinite Nonsense

The key findings of Australia’s 2016 National Drug Strategy Household Survey were released earlier this year, and they made for sobering reading. The NDSHS reported that over 15% of Australians had used illicit drugs in the previous year, including such drugs as cannabis, ice and heroin. Shocking, right?

Wrong. Of course.

We’re being silly in a way that the NDSHS reporting was not. Yes, the NDSHS reported that 15% had used illicit drugs at least once (including the possibility of exactly once) in the previous year, but NDSHS also emphasised the composition of that 15%. By far the most commonly used drug was cannabis, at about 10% of the population. Ice use was around 1%, and heroin didn’t register in the summary.

Illicit drug use is a serious problem, and a problem exacerbated by idiotic drug laws. Nothing can be learned, however, and nothing can be solved if one focuses upon a meaningless 15% multicategory. Whatever the specific threats or the reasonableness of concerns over the broad use of cannabis, such concerns pale in comparison to the problems of ice and heroin. The NDSHS makes no such categorical mistake. Unfortunately, there are plenty of clowns who do.

Last week, the Federal Ministers for Social Services and Human Services announced the location of a drug testing trial for job seekers who receive federal benefits. The ironically named Christian Porter and the perfectly named Alan Tudge announced that receipients would be tested “for illicit substances including ice (methamphetamine), ecstasy (MDMA) and marijuana (THC) … People who test positive to drug tests will continue to receive their welfare payment but 80 per cent of their payment will only be accessible through Income Management.” The plan is deliberately nasty and monumentally stupid, and it has been widely reported as such. For all the critical reporting, however, we could find no instance of the media noting the categorical lunacy of effectively equating the use of ice and ecstasy and THC.

Still, one should be fair to Porter and Tudge. They are undeniably dickheads, but Porter and Tudge are hardly exceptional. They are members of a very large group of thuggish, victim-blaming politicians, which includes Malcolm Turnbull, and Peter Dutton, and Adolf Hitler.

It is also notable that this kind of multicategory crap is only practised by social conservatives. It’s not like a nationwide survey on sexual harrassment and sexual assault in universities would ever couch the results in broadly defined categories in such a clouded and deceptive manner. Nope, not a chance.